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“Now THIS is how it’s done.”

Director: Breck Eisner.

Cast: Timothy ‘the awesome’ Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Danielle ‘the awesome’ Panabaker, Joe Anderson.

What’s It About

A peaceful small town. Everything is perfect, until when a rather zombie-ish guy interrupts a baseball match with a shotgun in his hand, it don’t need to be said that the Sheriff(Olyphant) saves the day. Similar unusual occurrence takes place, good guys going bad and killing their own families. The sheriff and his deputy sets out to find what’s wrong, as they were getting close, the government’s involvement turns the situation into an absolute chaos. And they all might just have a bigger problem than zombies(or infected)!

“Both of them did great. And the deputy here had to save the sheriffs ass a couple of times.”

The Pros

It’s been a while since I saw a strong-ass genre flick(last one was Dread). Much like Dread, the director and the actors(especially Olyphant) does an amazing job to capture the tone of the film. It is safe to say, they MADE the film.

“Here’s a Olyphant badass-ness for ya.”

The scenes that were supposed to be really intense were shot wonderfully. There were like 4 awesome scenes that had me at the edge of my seat and I just didn’t wanted them to end. And again, much thanks goes to Timothy Olyphant for his wonder performance that made those scenes look badass. After this and The Perfect Getaway, I am a big fan of the guy. By the way, “the almost nuts chopped off” scene was so fucking awesome that I had a bright look(figuratively of course) on my face the whole time. Oh and not to mention the “chaos caused by the government scene”.

“Holy Sweet Nuts! BTW, the whole scene was good marvelous.”

This movie just walks with the cliches yet making them interesting and not annoying. Hell yeah goes for the good job on jump scenes. I really hate jump scares that gives you a sudden “BOO!” with loud music and ends with the same way it started. But there were 4 or 5 of these sorta moments and they ACTUALLY WORKED. Yes, I’m admitting it, the “BOO!” worked!

The Cons

The CGI explosion near the end(you’ll know what I’m talking about) looked fake-ish. Nothing big, it’s just minor nit-picking from my part.

WTF!?

The government was freakier than the zombies!!!

“We are here to help. Or not.”

Gore & Violence

Decent amount of very well-done gore and plenty of awesome violence to be had here. This one is a WIN.

Overall

This is obviously one of the better remakes(I never saw the original of this one). Get yourself ready for a good time because I think this a strong and well-done film that’s supposed to make everyone happy, yes even people who are not a big fan of horror. A 8/10 for me.

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Director: Brian Pulido
Cast: Tony Todd, Clare Grant, Bill Moseley, Jillian Murray, Randy Blythe.

Synopsis: Two inseparable sister’s visit to a remote mine town turns into a mind-bending fight for survival against menaces both human and supernatural.

The Good

Yes there is a good thing about this flick. The only good thing. Other wise I already would’ve flipped out by now. Jillian Murray, not only is she really hot but the girl can act. Everytime she was on screen, I stopped throwing random things around.

The Bad

Jesus Christ! this movie was bad. Like REALLY BAD. Talk about a dumb script with lazy execution, Brian Pulido should take a dive after this. Bill Mosely was bearable but man, you are a genre actor at his best so why would you even read this script? And Tony Todd really need to stop being the same guy in every movie he is in. Clare Grant is a worse version of Megan Fox, even her super hotness couldn’t save her from my hatred. And Randy Blythe, I am a big fan of Lamb Of God but he really should’ve been in some other flick. I was dozing throughout the film. Lame-ass dialogues and stupid character, add bad acting to that. The premise had been done better thousand times before. It was so boring that I wanted to stab myself and my dog. I swear to god this movie is awful and I dont wanna rant anymore ’cause it will be a waste of my time and it will leave me pissed off for the next 2 hours.

WTF!?!

There is a sequel on it’s way?!? Motherfucker!!

Overall

Just skip it. That is all I can say and I promise you will be doing yourself a favor. For me it’s a 1 out of 10.

Director: Marcus Dunstan.

Cast: Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Juan Fernández, Karley Scott Collins, Madeline Zima.

Whats It About

Desperate to repay his debt to his ex-wife, an ex-con plots a heist at his new employer’s country home, unaware that a second criminal(The Collector) has also targeted the property, and rigged it with a series of deadly traps(and there were some ugly ass traps, mind you!).

‘The Collector, collecting!

The Pros

The best part of the movie is, the mindless fun we get. Filled with gore, a badass killer and a sympathy-worthy “hero”.

What made this “trapped in a house with a killer inside” film a success is that, THE WHOLE THING WORKED. In the countryside, a bigass house of a richass guy, escaping the tricky traps while not getting caught, it all felt natural and not forced. One can argue that this is not a original story or whatever but that’s the point. It doesn’t want to be taken as a oscar-worthy gem and knows what they are dealing with(unlike a LOT of movies lately) and gives us a mindless slasher(or torture porn or survival) flick. The film should not be judged by it’s originality, it’s the entertainment value that matters here. The bottom line is, the cat and mouse game was perfect entertainment!

“Cool!”

The use of different color schemes were fresh and interesting. Red, yellowish-green(mostly), blue, orange etc. it was really neat.

A moment now, should be taken to praise Josh Stewart. The guy did a bang-up job and he played one of the two characters in the movie I cared for. He reminds me a bit of Edward Norton though. However, I wish Stewart is taken seriously as an actor.

“One of the least lethal traps, another example of cool color schemes and a look at our hero.”

The Cons

How did The Collector prepare all those traps in such short time? Then again, one can argue he is in this line of business for a long time. So, maybe he is an expert by now?

To be honest, except for Stewart’s character and the little kid, I didn’t care for any of the others.

And why exactly was The Collector collecting, whatever it was that he was collecting(tough sentence but no spoilers!! 😀 )? I have no idea what the answer is.

Violence, Gore & Nudity

Yes, the there is more gore than there is violence. But Arkin vs. The Collector bit was awesome. As for the gore, think big! Yes, the gore-lovers is definitely gonna love this. And Madline Zima made me happy with her boob glory. And 2 other, sparse strip-club scenes.

” I swear to god, this photo is captured during the sex scene! Even The Collector had to lick his lips cuz of Zima’s hotness!”

Overall

Turn off the switch of your head/brain, take a drink, sit back and enjoy! That’s how you are gonna love it. Definitely an A for me.

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Director: Scott Stewart.

Cast: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Tyrese Gibson, Lucas Black, Adrianne Palicki, Willa Holland, Kevin Durand.

So, despite the 1000 negative reviews all over the internet(including THC, the blog I REALLY love) I still had hopes for this one. Why? I love Dennis Quaid and I love Tyrese and add a bad-ass trailer and there, you got my attention. So, did it live up to my expectations? No, but it was pretty decent.

What’s It About

God is pissed off and he goes Nazi on mankind’s ass. One of his angels disobeys him and cuts off his wings to save humanity’s only hope and thus unleashing a fight for survival. ( I’m really sorry for this lousy synopsis).

The Cons

I’m doing THIS first because if you can get over the following things, you might just like it.

So, out of so many people in the whole world an unborn child is humanity’s only hope? That’s bullshit in my opinion.

God’s persona here is quite similar to Hitler’s. I mean, god goes crazy and a fallen angel is to prove him wrong? That is nuts, brazil nuts!

What was up with all those emotional conversations? Especially the ones between the pregnant girl and her boyfriend, the scenes dragged and it took forever to end. And where is all the action the trailer promised? I’m happy with all I got but still…

Why is it that every movie these days needs one idiot character that doesn’t try to understand the simplest logic and HAS to do something stupid and get killed. WTF?

The Pros

Paul Bettany. Hell yeah he’s awesome. The 3 action sequences with him were, without any doubt, the best thing of the whole movie. I can’t wait for PRIEST.

The movie is really funny and it took me by surprise. I may have a bad sense of humour but that’s me and I loved the comedy, especially Dennis Quaid’s lines. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s right. Yesterday I was fucking Santa Clause.” LOL.

Tyrese Gibson. Badass as always.

The angel’s wing thing was AMAZING. The fight between Michael and Gabriel was great in a whole different level because of Gabriel’s wings. =D

I am disappointed with the action but whatever….. it was still frigging COOL. And the sharp-teethed monsters were cool in a funny way.

Best Line

“Audrey, honey? Your mother was wondering if you got dressed this morning with the specific intention of showing your ass off to the entire world.”

Overall

Although a huge letdown because this was on my most anticipated list, I still sort of liked it. A not-so-solid B-.

Yet another movie I rented to kill some time, and it has an ugly-ass poster.

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Cast: Haylie Duff and a lot others I don’t know.

****The synopsis might be spoiler-ish.******

Synopsis: While camping in Jasper Park up North California, the couple Tom Alan Smithee and Gwen Marie Holden are attacked by a group of strangers; Tom is immediately killed and Gwen is abducted by the men to an underground facility to breed. A couple of months later, in Los Angeles, the manager of a video game company Johnny Dash invites the employees Adam Benson, Lee, Maggie, Perry, Chris Basso, Paul and Mike Chen to participate in a ‘Battle Royal’ paint-ball game at a corporate retreat in the Jasper Park to practice executive tactics. When they arrive at a gas station, they refuel their trucks and see a poster saying that Gwen and Tom are missing since 30 February 2008 and have been last seen in Jasper Park. They head to a former military reservation area in the national park and camp. During the night, Adam has the sensation that the group is under observation and he unsuccessfully warns his colleagues. When the game starts on the next morning, the group finds that their training is more than a paint-ball game, but a fight for survival in a hostile ground whose inhabitants are maniac lunatics.

The movie is a ripoff of a lot other movies, but that doesn’t make it bad. It was cheesy 1 and half hour fun.

The movie started in a stupid way, the actress at the beginning delivered a couple of awkward lines which almost killed my hope for the movie, fortunately that scene ended quickly and it got a lot better.

The acting was average comparing with the type of flick it is. And I like the Duff-sisters(not their acting, just them), so it was cool to see Haylie Duff step up from her girly teeny weeny roles. She did pretty good and now I’m looking forward to her thriller/horror ‘Deep Cove’. [Just a note: Hilary Duff stepped up earlier in 2008 with War Inc, Greta and What Goes Up. She was good in those.]

I like good horror movies in which everyone gets killed off one by one(Hatchet, Friday the 13th remake, House of Wax). But this one was a tad different, the goodies fought back against the organized people who held them hostage, it was quite fresh to see.

I had only two problems with the movie:

  • it’s typical and
  • it’s predictable.

As you can see, the ONLY 2 mistakes are quite huge.

Violence: 8/10.

Gore: 2/10.

Nudity: None(but Haylie Duff is so hot and I just found that out yesterday).

So, I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ll like it:

  • if you are into the whole ‘trapped in the wilderness and surviving from the locals’ thing.
  • if you like the Duff sisters as much as I do.
  • if you have some decent amount of time to kill.

I’ll give this one a 6.5 out of 10.

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Cast: Shea Wingham, Jill Wagner, Paulo Costanzo.

Synopsis: Trapped in an isolated gas station by a voracious Splinter parasite that transforms its still living victims into deadly hosts, a young couple and an escaped convict must find a way to work together to survive this primal terror.

I thought this would be one of those campy & fun horror movies, but it wasn’t……campy.

So, I ran out of movies this week and rented this one thinking that it could be fun. Well, I’m glad that I did. This goes a long way than just ONLY fun. The suspense was well-built, the acting was fantastic(which is surprising) and I ended up loving it.

The director did a good job making the creatures creepy but then again, monsters with splinters on them already contains decent amount of creep-factor in it.

The three leads did a good job adapting with the premise. I really liked Jill Wagner, she is hot and she can act(unlike Megan Fox) and the chemistry her character had with the two other characters while surviving the whole monster attack situation was brilliant.

The pacing was great, it doesn’t go too fast nor does it drag. Every second focuses on something that will help the movie get going one way or another.

Violence/Gore

The violence and gore is typical, just like any simple horror flick…BUT there is one scene that creeped me out—–> An arm is chopped off by a box-cutter and then the bone is broken by using a brick-type thingy<—–And it is very visual.

Nudity

Nope. They weren’t in the mood I guess while surviving from a killer creature.

Overall

I have no real complaint about this movie, it was just fun in a whole different level, and it is very underrated. Watch it if you get a chance, it’s worth checking out if you’re into the sub-genre. It gets a 7 out of 10.

Reviews Pending.

ZMD(2010)[ADH]
Kill Theory(2010)[ADH]

List of horror movies of 2010 I’ve seen.

If you ever notice grade change, it's because I changed my mind after second watch :)

Dread (A)
Triangle (A)
The Crazies (A)
The Final (A-)
Shutter Island (A-)

Blood Creek (B+)
ZMD (B+)
Kill Theory (B)
The Fourth Kind (B)
Legion (B-)
Daybreakers (B-)
The Lovely Bones (B-)
Case 39 (B-)
The Reeds (B-)

Nine Dead (C+)
Lake Mungo (C)
Bitch Slap (C-)

Zone Of The Dead (D+)
Circle Of Ei8ht (D)
Open Graves (D)
Growth(D-)
The Graves(D-)

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