https://i2.wp.com/www.dreadcentral.com/img/news/aug06/sideshowfvsjbig.jpgYes, I’m taking sides here! Platinum Dunes it is. And I certainly don’t get the point why people likes to bash on’em so much. I am pretty sure y’all are laughing at me right now but the following are the reasons why I think it is totally unfair to do so.

I am not a fan of this “remake” thing. I personally think at the rate it’s progressing, we’ll see a Hatchet remake in 2 years! But I’m not totally against the idea. I like old movies being remade, I just want’em to slow down.

See, let’s be practical here. None of the films they remade are masterpieces. Okay maybe Texas Chainsaw Massacre is, but I don’t get the bitching as the remakes were pretty damn strong. And Amityville Horror? Friday The 13th? Elm Street? At the end of the day, they are just a bunch of simple well-done film. I’ll rant with Friday The 13th because I haven’t seen Elm Street(2010) yet, and saw the others a few years back so it’d be a pain in the ass to remember properly.

I’m gonna be honest, I loved Friday The 13th remake. No way was it a perfect film but it was a damn good slasher. Why do we hate on it again? Oh yes:

1) Why is Jason a weed farmer?

-Give the guy a break! It’s not like we are all perfect, and being in HIS line of work we are lucky he didn’t smoke onscreen. And it’s not like he is a sleazy pervert who molest kids(!!). Okay, all lame jokes aside, this is ridiculous. I have no idea how this is even an issue.

2) Why Jason kidnaps people?

-I understand the hatred, we don’t want our beloved Jason to dig girls that remind him of his “someone”, we want him to kill people. But after all, it’s a re-imagination so you gotta let’em change something. And in the countless awful sequels, they’ve done MUCH worse.

3) Why is Jason so good with a bow?

-Ah! come on. It’s not like he’s walking around in corn-fields(cough *Halloween 2* cough) all day and night. He is Jason, a legendary character, so if Wolverine can run around naked(lol random I know), Jason can shoot some arrows.

Okay, my post made no sense, I’m still an amateur so you gotta let me have it. My point is, it did the other things right that we wanna see in a slasher. We get some bloody, messy and gruesome kills. Some of them are tricky and awesome. Yes, gratuitous nudity(of one of the hottest girls) if that’s what you perverts are craving for!!!!(hey don’t look at me!). Minor cliches obviously, we get some familiar characters but that’s the fun in slashers. Except maybe the original, the remake was better than all the films of the franchise.

And look at Halloween, look what Rob Zombie did to (possibly) the best slasher film of horror film history. And, My Bloody Valentine 3-D was one of the cheesiest films of last decade. To my surprise!!, Platinum Dunes had pretty much nothing to do with them!!! The Uninvited was a decent enough film and The Crazies and The Last House On The Left was great. So, no I’m not biased if that’s what you are thinking. I won’t stand here and say Sorority Row was a good film, as we all know it was nothing more than eyecandy. But it was SO FRIGGING BAD that it was fun!

So I will stop talking now. I just wanna say it doesn’t hurt to give some older films a shiny new look, if we notice a little too deep, we are just nit-picking and these small things barely even matters. Everyone’s opinion is correct, that’s what an opinion is. And I’m not here to change that, you hate The Amityville Horror, fair enough, say that with a high tone but don’t bash on it immaturely, because it looks to be a trend these days.

P.S. Fuck horroryearbook.com and their immature fag jokes. I don’t get it, everyone can pull off a few couple of gay jokes. Heck! I do it occasionally. They just say the same weird shit over and over again and I personally think they are full of shit.

Share what you think!

Advertisements